Kristen Stewart Twilight

Wet ‘n’ Wild Parrish Dries Himself Off

If any of Parrish Maguire’s close (and all very beautiful) friends are wondering why their blushing-boy companion has been on the rag as of late, we can tell you: He’s been duly chastised by his “people,” and he ain’t happy about it.

For some silly reason, Parrish’s peeps were in an uproar about their client liking to get his sexy on with porn stars at private pool parties or liking to tag around his tortured BF at parties while he made goo-goo eyes at all the (other) pretty boys.

Parrish’s advisors therefore advised:

“Reel it in, or else.”

P-stuff, all crimson cheeks and quivering lower lip, did not question what the else referred to. He very well knew: The sizeable investment his employers had made in him would suddenly disappear faster than Lindsay Lohan’s 9-to-5 gigs.

Also intimated to Mr. Maquire, who’s gotten quite used to being the hot-stuff flavor of the month, was a reminder that he was hardly the first choice for the plum position he now enjoys.

Consequently, P.M. has been pulling the sour stuff on his close friends, taking out the frustration of no longer being able to get his gay on quite so openly on those unlucky enough to enjoy the gorgeous dude’s myriad perks. As a result, partying it up with Parrish ain’t at all what it used to be.

So, suffice it to say: Since P has had to zip his pants, his lip ain’t following suit.

And it ain’t: Chris Hemsworth, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ryan Gosling
Previous exclusions are here.

1

This week’s exclusions:

Harland Fuss is not Jensen Ackles.

Pepper Harthman is not Lebron James. He doesn’t play major league baseball.

Moisty Mohr is not Pat Robertson.

Robert Pattinson has been a BV. Demi Moore has not been one “within the last 6 months.”

The Blind Vice Superstars gallery has been expanded to include Kristen Stewart, Nicole Kidman, Robin Leach(!), Eva Longoria-Parker and Alec Baldwin. One of these new inductees is Moisty Mohr (and Alec was excluded a long time ago).

For those keeping score, of the people mentioned this week:

-Harland Fuss is not any of these people.
-Moisty Mohr is not any of these people.
-Parrish Maguire is not any of these people.
-Pepper Harthman is not any of these people.

2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Wet ‘n’ Wild Parrish Dries Himself Off

If any of Parrish Maguire’s close (and all very beautiful) friends are wondering why their blushing-boy companion has been on the rag as of late, we can tell you: He’s been duly chastised by his “people,” and he ain’t happy about it.

For some silly reason, Parrish’s peeps were in an uproar about their client liking to get his sexy on with porn stars at private pool parties or liking to tag around his tortured BF at parties while he made goo-goo eyes at all the (other) pretty boys.

Parrish’s advisors therefore advised:

“Reel it in, or else.”

P-stuff, all crimson cheeks and quivering lower lip, did not question what the else referred to. He very well knew: The sizeable investment his employers had made in him would suddenly disappear faster than Lindsay Lohan’s 9-to-5 gigs.

Also intimated to Mr. Maquire, who’s gotten quite used to being the hot-stuff flavor of the month, was a reminder that he was hardly the first choice for the plum position he now enjoys.

Consequently, P.M. has been pulling the sour stuff on his close friends, taking out the frustration of no longer being able to get his gay on quite so openly on those unlucky enough to enjoy the gorgeous dude’s myriad perks. As a result, partying it up with Parrish ain’t at all what it used to be.

So, suffice it to say: Since P has had to zip his pants, his lip ain’t following suit.

And it ain’t: Chris Hemsworth, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ryan Gosling
Previous exclusions are here.

1

This week’s exclusions:

Harland Fuss is not Jensen Ackles.

Pepper Harthman is not Lebron James. He doesn’t play major league baseball.

Moisty Mohr is not Pat Robertson.

Robert Pattinson has been a BV. Demi Moore has not been one “within the last 6 months.”

The Blind Vice Superstars gallery has been expanded to include Kristen Stewart, Nicole Kidman, Robin Leach(!), Eva Longoria-Parker and Alec Baldwin. One of these new inductees is Moisty Mohr (and Alec was excluded a long time ago).

For those keeping score, of the people mentioned this week:

-Harland Fuss is not any of these people.
-Moisty Mohr is not any of these people.
-Parrish Maguire is not any of these people.
-Pepper Harthman is not any of these people.

2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7